My Story

On 10th September 2023 I will be doing the Great North Run on what would have been my Dad's 62nd birthday. Dad passed away last September and we miss him every day. He loved Newcastle and was always envious of his step sons studying there, so running this race in this city on his birthday seemed like a really fitting tribute to him.

Dad was incredibly generous and always wanted to help others and by telling his story I hope that we continue his legacy as even if this helps one other person receive a diagnosis or reach out for help then we will have succeeded. As well as raising awareness I will be raising money for Hospice at Home West Cumbria, who played a huge role in our story.

Dad was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in September 2021 and was given 6-12 weeks to live. We didn't know if he would make it to Christmas that year, but due to his immense strength and the help of the doctors, nurses and especially Hospice at Home West Cumbria we were able to have almost 1 whole year with him. That meant he got to meet his grandson, watch his step son get married and watch me, his daughter, graduate. Being with dad almost every day for that final year of his life was the greatest privilege of my life, but we wouldn’t have gotten through it without the support from Hospice at Home.

Palliative and end of life care is not something people really speak about. With a diagnosis usually comes "how are we going to fight this” but no one talks about what you do when there is no cure, no chance you are going to get better, and this is what we knew from day 1 of dad's diagnosis. That is where Hospice at Home came in. Their team supported not only my dad but the rest of the family as we started down a road we never thought we would have to go down. They helped us try to understand the process of dying, what palliative treatment is available and what dads options were. Because even though he was dying there were still options that he could make for how he wanted to die which is extremely important. Hospice at home gave dad the option of dying at home which was ultimately what he wanted. Unfortunately for dad due to complications in his last few weeks he had to be in hospital and eventually passed away there. But hospice at home were working tirelessly to get him home, even to the extent that at the exact moment he passed away a specially designed bed organised by hospice was being delivered to our house so he could come home that day. It didn't happen for dad for reasons out of anyones control but to have that option brought peace to dad and comfort in his final weeks. 

Speaking from the perspective of someone who has cared for a loved one who is terminally ill, hospice at home have been incredible. They provided a safe space to talk about how this was affecting me, provided nursing care when we needed more support caring for dad and helped me understand more about how palliative care and dying works. They have inspired me to get the conversation of palliative care started, to the extent where I am now going to study Public Health in the hope of helping others in similar situations to ours.

Hospice at home are vitally important in a rural area like West Cumbria. Our nearest hospice is over an hour away and so having dad there would mean we couldn't spend that time with him we desperately wanted and needed. And for many comfort is found being in familiar surroundings with your family by your side which is why dying at home has to be an option. However there are significant costs associated with this. Specalist equipment is needed, specially trained health professionals, round the clock care. For example, 1 palliative care overnight nurse for 12 hours costs £250. Therefore I am hoping to raise as much money as possible to give back to hospice at home and help them care for other terminally ill patients and their families.

During the year dad was ill I heard a quote that “to love someone/something completely, you have to love the ending too” and thanks to Hospice at Home we had the space and support to find love in dad's ending and for that I will be forever grateful. Please donate if you can, but if you can’t please support your local home hospice team where you can and also encourage those you love to talk about their health as early diagnosis can possibly save someone’s life.